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I got snatched back before we reached the city.”“We weren’t there? Maybe we’ll meet in Omaha, then. We must have already left.”“I’m so pissed that Jason lost you in Indiana. It was that same damned private that got the entire troop confined to quarters for that section of the trip.”“Wait. Kyle, when were you in St. Joseph?” I asked.“Near the end of October. They were pushing us to get on to Omaha before we were hit with bad weather.”“What year?”“Right after the train ride from Baltimore in ‘65.”“Damn it! It’s the damned time sequence being out of sync. You got there a year before we did, but here it was months afterward. How are we ever going to get together? We should be having this adventure with each other.”We were getting through school. The end was in sight. Just another month. And our horse-ranch was beginning to take shape, too. We’d rescued three more horses, but it wasn’t just a rescue operation. Harley, our Saddlebred stallion, was gentle as a lamb. He had a good pedigree,. I had to be very careful: I understood that my feelings were in chaos and my control was ragged at best. Sure, over the past five plus years I had learned control and patience, but those were for things I could control; things that were predictable and for which the rewards and consequences were clear. They never included wives, or ex-wives or children or any of those things that were part of a civilized life. Prison was far from civilized. It was dog-eat-dog where the strong survived and the weak succumbed and the result was a culture that worked. Those with a skill or a talent or some degree of knowledge that could be bartered into something better were the winners. The weak or the ignorant looked to those others for their survival, often at the cost of something more precious; their dignity.I was one of the more fortunate and I had learned to take advantage when it was to my benefit. Compassion was not a survival emotion in prison and my compassion had been suppressed for a long.
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